the bassist

  everything hasn’t been going right this past few weeks.

  WORST msg i’ve achieved in about almost two and a half years, my experiments not amounting to anything (no statistically significant results), screwed up my relations with people who actually mean a lot to me. just yesterday night, i felt so emo i literally strummed my guitar to sleep, trying (to no avail) to get myself high on coke and chips. i slept at 9.30pm.

  things aren’t as smooth as before in my other commitments too- especially band, class debate and a myriad of other non-academic involvements. Band discipline is escalating to the point whereby the exco is reviewing punishments and brainstorming for more effective ones. personally, i haven’t been able to enforce discipline very well, even within my own section. i really desire that swag, the high-profile, high-respected and commanding kind of swag. 

  Sometimes i wonder if i’m being way too easy/lenient with others. nobody ever expects me to get tough/pissed and screw people up, maybe pick a fight or something, just because this whole time I’ve only shown them the optimistic, constantly joking side of myself, ergo they either think i don’t give a shit or i’m too soft in the discipline aspect. All this is going to change from this term on though, people will start taking me more seriously. after all, i have responsibilities to fulfill, and these are crucial things that need to be ironed out/settled to fulfil these responsibilities.

  in a nutshell, i really hope things get better from this term on. I don’t want to spend my last year in high school just getting things done and responsibilities fulfilled in a reckless, devil-may-care, lax manner, then live JC life onwards with a tinge of regret for leading the worst high school life possible. last but not least, hopefully i’ll be able to get a better grasp on emotional quotient and better relationships at school and home. (at least i’ve meaningfully made up with someone at school in the last month. no biggie, but i’m proud nonetheless.)

  My last year in high school- i’m going to make it count. No more scatterbrain. No more procrastination. No more joking.

Haven’t posted for a really long while. I still read tumblr blogs though, just that I’m probably too lazy to click on the “reblog” button or bothering to craft a text post myself. So this post is a rare one for y’all readers (or the lack of, or so I’m informed).

The first term of my last year in high school hasn’t been as smooth-sailing as before — as I’m buzzed with so many leader responsibilities (in PW, CCA etc) and project work is getting more intense as time passes (as many data runs as we’ve had, still no statistically significant/pleasing results, which is a tad worrying).

Dedication to band, though it has been really exciting and eventful with the Malaysia trip and all, is taking up a whole lot of my time, sometimes for the wrong reasons. I’ll have to consider this in the next couple of terms.

I must admit however that the academia part of school life has been really easy this term, and I was an idiot not to have capitalised on it and excelled (MSG is really disgusting this term, I can’t even be bothered to work out the math). Now I know that being busy isn’t a valid excuse since I actually spent most of my free time watching pointless YouTube videos, hanging out with friends, lazing on the couch etc, especially this holiday. Definitely no productivity to speak of.

Hopefully next term will be better. I’m probably gonna set some resolutions to make things right (incl my MSG).

By the way, I was thinking of shutting down this blog (after saving all the partially meaningful archives). If any readers object, do drop me a message on Facebook, twitter or any other platform. I’ll be glad to receive one of those, to know what there are readers who DO care about everything that goes up on this page.

Peace out.